It's been awhile (:

Finally!!! I finally decided to update my post! I stopped for awhile, since I have been significantly busy! But at least I have alot to write about now!

First up, CHANGE! So many changes!!! Oakley is now going with her dad 50/50. Which is so hard. She went for the first time starting this new schedule on monday. It was awkward getting up in the morning without having to get her ready and without having to worry about her in the morning. It made my day feel empty! But, I am very excited for her to have an opportunity to have a dad around (: Hopefully he takes it for what it is, and seizes the opportunity. I think with him taking her so much, I'm going to try and go to school. It's about time I do something with my life.

Oakley also started getting the rest of her teeth, which is pure torture. The poor girl can't do anything without being in pain. I feel so horrible for her. I don't how to help her, which is the ultimate heart break. Its definitely one of those things where I'd like to take the pain for her!!

Next, Even though I'm on my own, I know I'm not alone. Some silly boy captivated me, and stole every last bit of what was left of my heart. I know the circumstances are weird, and difficult, and everyone thinks it will fail. But to truly love something, you must first give it a chance to fail. If it survives, it is going to be stronger than ever. Distance is pure proof of this. &It's so scary. I'm terrified. But all I know is I miss him when something good happens because he is who i want to share it with. I miss him when something is troubling me because he is the one who understands me so well. I miss him when I laugh and cry because he is the on who makes my laughter grow and my tears disappear. I simply feel obligated to give it a chance. I've never felt that way before. It's pure madness, and I love it!

That's all for now. As always, thanks for reading! <3

Being alone

It's hard to be alone in this day and age. It's like a constant battle to find someone. Isn't that what everyone is doing? Trying to find someone? Everywhere you go you're surrounded by people in love and this fake image of how love should be, like music and movies. It puts off this great image of how great love can be. But it always fails to mention, the problems that come with being in a relationship. The fights, the constant struggle to remain happy.

I'm sick of how fake it is. It makes me lose hope. Even though I feel as though I've never had hope. Travis pretty much ruined 'hope' for me. I couldn't have been more in love with him.. My heart and soul and everything I was, was COMPLETELY invested in him. I gave him chance after chance and remained faithful to him. And here I am, 5 years later, with nothing. Nothing but devastation.

I feel devastated, but here I am, wondering when I'm going to find someone. Isn't that twisted? Why would I want that again? Why do I feel like I need to have someone to feel complete? When am I going to be content being alone?

The answer is unknown.

Happy girl!

Well, I'm glad to say that today has been a much better day than the past few have been! I am quite excited about the upcoming events.

Today at work, I had someone that I really look up to nominate me as coach of the month. This might not sound too exciting to most, but to me, it's an honor. Most days at my job I feel as though I am completely wasting my time and not worth much to that company. It's hard to change that view but with Salina's help I realized I might just be doing something good for myself, and for many others. (: I continue to bust my ass, without seeing immediate results but it's the long term results that are amazing!! I hate to be boastful, but I am SO PROUD! 

It was my brothers birthday today, so my mom and I cooked him dinner. I love spending time with her, especially when it's doing little everyday things. I'm very grateful for her.

And last but not least... 16 days (:


Goodnight all!

The little things...

After tonight, I remember that the little things, are the things that count. Being able to sit and laugh with someone for hours on end, matters. Even during the DUMBEST movie ever, we still laughed.

It's hard to remember that little things like that still exist in this world. &&I'd like to thank this person for reminding me.

Maybe remembering that the little things really do count, will help me to show my appreciation to my family and friends more by doing 'the little things'. I'm going to make that a goal of mine. I will show appreciation to a much higher extent than I have been doing.


Short. But sweet <3
Goodnight!

Fitting..

"You may not be her first, her last, or her only.. She loved before, she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She's not perfect - your not either, and the two of you may not be perfect together. But if she makes you laugh, because you to think twice, and admit to being human, and making mistakes, hold onto her and treat her the best you can, she may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her she knows you can break - her heart. ♥ So don't hurt her, don't change her, don't analyze and don't expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she's not there."

One day.

New to the BloggingWorld(:

Well, I decided to start a blog after a rough night, and feeling like I don't have too many people to talk to. Maybe being able to vent without anyone giving me their opinion, which I don't always love to hear, will help me cope a little more.

Lately, I've felt myself shutting down. I can feel myself closing doors. This has got to change! I can't keep pushing certain people away, and expecting them to open up to me. Twisted.

Maybe one day I'll have the courage to go into detail of how I've been feeling. But as I sit here and try to put it into words, I get overwhelmed.

Overwhelmed.

That sums me up pretty well right now.